


Finding Perfection

by lachoy



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Incest, M/M, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:32:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6214534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lachoy/pseuds/lachoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody was ever going to be perfect except for one person and Hikaru doesn't know why he tries to deny that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mix of manga and anime. I hope it makes sense.

It's at Hikaru's millionth attempt at a normal relationship that he realizes it just isn't going to happen. The longest he's made a relationship work is for a few months and that had ended very ugly. Hikaru isn't the best at breaking up and his last relationship hadn't taken that too well. It had turned into a screaming match, Hikaru pointing out all of her bad habits and then her telling him that he was an awful asshole that nobody would ever love.

“Am I an awful asshole that nobody will ever love?” Hikaru had asked Kaoru that night while they lay in Kaoru's bed, watching movies.

“You are an awful asshole,” Kaoru had agreed. “But I love you so she was only _partly_ right.”

The problem with relationships was that Hikaru wasn't good at them. He just wasn't good at people. Kaoru was much better, being able to smile and make believe that he was a perfectly polite young man. Only Hikaru could read the secret meaning behind his smiles and looks. Unfortunately for Hikaru (and everybody else that had to interact with him), he made his thoughts loud and clear. He was too blunt, everybody told him, and maybe so. But that was him and he couldn't change that.

“The problem with you is you expect everybody to be perfect. Nobody can be everything you want them to be. Not all at once,” Kaoru told him another night, his fingers brushing through the dark locks of hair as Hikaru rested on his twin's knee.

Hikaru's first thought then had been that Kaoru was everything he wanted so why couldn't he just find another Kaoru? Though he didn't voice that thought out loud. The answer was simply you didn't get another twin, another person who fit you perfectly.

Maybe he was too harsh on his partners.

Hikaru tried just sex for a bit, thinking that maybe he could find some fun at the very least and some relief for his libido. But really, he was surprised to find he was a person that needed the sex to mean something. He got off, kicked the person out, and that was a boring cycle. One that Hikaru didn't really find rewarding. Women or the occasional man. It didn't make much difference.

“You're more sentimental than you give yourself credit for,” Kaoru had told him once.

“You're the sentimental one,” Hikaru had argued back.

“I didn't say I wasn't, just that you're not as far behind as you'd like to think.”

He had never been one for giving up, but Hikaru thought he knew a losing race when he saw one and this was it. Some people were meant for relationships and he just wasn't one of them. Simple as that.

Kaoru did a much better job. Obviously, as always. He'd only had a few relationships, but the longest had lasted almost a year which may not seem impressive but for the Hitachiin twins? The ones that always thought of us vs. them? It was very impressive. All of his relationships had been with men and neither of them had been very surprised.

“But I had liked Haruhi.”

“You only liked her because I did.”

“Yes, I suppose so.”

Hikaru had never liked any of Kaoru's boyfriends, but Kaoru had never expected him to and it wasn't like Hikaru liked many people anyway. The old Host Club not counting and the one or two people who didn't annoy him nearly so much as other people either. Hikaru wasn't a people person and Kaoru was just better at pretending he was. Kaoru was good at ending things, but every time Hikaru asked why they broke up, Kaoru admitted it was because he got bored and the men he started dating were annoying him.

Kaoru really wasn't much better than him even if he was better at putting on a nice face, a sweet smile to hide that he easily had fangs and would ruin you if you hurt or tried to destroy anything he deemed worth it. He could spit out horrible, terrible words with a smile and it was devastating. Yet nobody would ever believe him that Kaoru really was the evil twin, but Hikaru didn't mind letting that secret stay between them.

It had been a few months since Kaoru had even been on a date and more than a month since Hikaru had last slept with anybody. While they worked on their own homework for college since they didn't share as many classes as people originally thought they would, Hikaru dropped his pencil and looked over to Kaoru's desk, eyes roaming over his features. Kaoru had started growing his hair out once they moved to study in Spain. It looked good on him and he pulled it off. Hikaru didn't think he could even if they shared the same face. But they try to be their own people now, their differences show more now and people can tell them apart. They can be apart for a while, but they always have to meet up to share their day. If anything, the time apart has only made them fonder of each other. They won't ever be as separate as they're supposed to be, but that's fine. Hikaru doesn't think they're meant to be.

Looking at his twin, at how Kaoru mouths words to himself and how his lips purse more. At how his loose shirt falls off his shoulder and how his boyfriends had probably kissed those shoulders more than enough times. They aren't very platonic thoughts to have, but Hikaru used to have them a lot when they were younger. Back then it had probably been much more narcissistic considering how they had purposely looked like the other.

Hikaru likes their differences because they're Kaoru's differences and Kaoru is...Kaoru is perfect in Hikaru's eyes and that's when it hits him.

“Hey, Kaoru?” Hikaru calls out suddenly, a question burning on his tongue as he thinks about the fact that relationships never work for them. As he begins to question really why that is because if he truly isn't meant to ever have a relationship then why isn't Kaoru either? Are they meant to be together, alone with each other?

Or is this just what they're doing to each other? Is this some kind of choice they're making? Is the reason why none of his relationships working out because he's looking for a Kaoru? Is Kaoru looking for him?

Kaoru looks over to him, silently asking what's up with his eyes and Hikaru feels like he's in the spotlight now. This isn't quite so usual with his brother but Hikaru continues on anyway.

“Why don't your relationships work?”

“This is a random question to be asking me. I've told you, I get bored and they start to annoy me. Why the sudden interest in my love life?”

“But isn't it weird? Isn't it weird that it's always the same for us? We always get bored, we get picky, and they start to annoy us. Why is that?”

“Probably because we're twins,” Kaoru says in a tone that implies Hikaru's being an idiot. Hikaru doesn't let it deter him.

“That isn't it. It's because we're expecting them to be someone that they can't be. It's because I want them to be you and they can't be you. You want them to be me and they can't be me.”

Kaoru doesn't seem to react or that's what most people would assume. But Hikaru knows the little things and he sees how Kaoru's grip on his pen tightens and yeah, yeah this is affecting him.

“That's a little egotistical.”

“I'm right, though, aren't I? That's why.”

Kaoru doesn't say a word and that's all the answer Hikaru needs. He stands up and walks over to Kaoru, leaning down to wrap his arms around his brother's neck as he rests his head on top of Kaoru's. Kaoru uses shampoo that smells like exotic flowers and Hikaru breathes it in.

“We're not doing this,” Kaoru says after a moment and he tries to shake Hikaru off. “Hikaru, stop. Let go. We are not doing this.”

“Why?”

“Why? Why do you think?!” His voice is uncharacteristically starting to snap and yeah, Hikaru's gotten to the truth. “We've gotten this far! Hikaru, we're our own people. Isn't this what we've worked hard for? I can't let that be ruined. I pushed aside everything just to make sure we could do this and I can't, I won't...I can't do it.”

Hikaru frowns and he does let go, but only to hit his brother gently over the head. Kaoru turns around to glare at him, enough emotion in his eyes swimming there and Hikaru hasn't seen him this upset for a while. 

“Hear me out, idiot,” Hikaru says and covers Kaoru's mouth with his hand before he can say anything. “I think we had this conversation before but we'll have it again since it didn't get through your head the first time. We're twins and no matter what happens, that bond can't be ruined. I'm yours, you're mine. That's how it should be and maybe we're our own people now and that isn't going to change. Never. What, do you think when we finally stop denying what we want that we're suddenly going to go back to how things were? Please. I'm not that much of a dumbass.”

He lowers his hand when he doesn't think Kaoru will interrupt him and Kaoru is silent now, going over the words.

“We're going to be okay,” is the last thing Hikaru says and now he just waits for Kaoru.

He doesn't have to wait long because Kaoru stands up and pulls Hikaru in for a kiss. Before Hikaru can react, Kaoru groans a 'yes' against his lips before he's pressing in again and that's Hikaru's thoughts as well. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. He kisses back and hands are grabbing at clothes as they stumble back onto a bed. Hikaru think it might be Kaoru's, not that it matters too much. It's a bed and that's the important thing.

Hikaru hasn't felt this desperate since the first time he had sex, but even that's nothing in comparison to this. When he moves his lips to Kaoru's neck, Kaoru releasing a pleasured gasp, he hears Kaoru's confession. “Hikaru, ah, I've wanted this for so long...”

“Why didn't you just tell me?” Hikaru asks as he bites softly at Kaoru's neck, whose hands dig into Hikaru's back.

“It's not so easy to tell your brother you want him to jerk you off,” Kaoru says with a soft laugh. He may have a point, especially since Hikaru's more than a little late to this realization.

“Still want that?”

“Yes and I want you to fuck me.”

Has anybody else ever turned him on this much before? Has he ever felt such a need to just drive someone into a bed like he has with his twin? But as they take clothes off and get closer to that, Hikaru tells his twin he doesn't want to hurt him but he doesn't think he can hold back.

“I did just tell you I want you to fuck me.”

Kaoru very rarely curses, but when he does? That's a bigger turn-on than he expected and so Hikaru goes to give Kaoru what he wants. He really shouldn't treat him like he's fragile anyway because if anybody knows that Kaoru isn't weak it's him. After that it's a quick progression, Hikaru not bothering at all to be gentle and the way that Kaoru is moaning and crooning encouragement means that Hikaru is definitely doing this right. The sound of Kaoru losing himself in pleasure is not one that Hikaru wants to forget about any time soon and he plans on hearing him for the rest of his life if he can help it.

It's been a while since Kaoru's last had sex, he warns, and so he's tight. It feels like he's impossibly tight and working him to be ready is making Hikaru impatient. Kaoru insists he can take it and even if Hikaru knows he can, might do so later, the first time they do this isn't going to leave Kaoru in pain. Simple as that.

By the time Kaoru's ready, or Kaoru insists he is, Hikaru can't hold back. It isn't a slow inch by inch that he slides into his brother and they're both groaning.

“Fuck, yes, fuck, Kaoru,” Hikaru groans as his fingers harshly grab onto Kaoru's hips. He isn't even moving yet but Kaoru's back is arched and he's beautiful. Nobody could ever compare and Hikaru doesn't know why he tried to find this impossible person. There was only one Kaoru and they belonged to him.

There's a constant stream of sounds coming from the both of them, neither too sure what sound is coming from either of them. Grunts, moans, whimpers, groans, and the sound of their bodies moving together. Against each other. It's so perfect and Hikaru can barely breathe, can't stop from panting as he fucks his brother mercilessly.

Kaoru begs him not to stop, never to stop, just keep going, and fuck, fuck, Hikaru, _yes_ …

Hikaru couldn't imagine stopping. Ever. This is where he belongs.

When they both reach their orgasms, Hikaru tries to bury the sound in Kaoru's shoulder as he bites it. Kaoru doesn't hide his pleasure and with a loud cry of Hikaru's name, they both sign the contract that means they'll be together no matter what. Nobody can take this away from them.

As they both fall down from their high, Hikaru pulls out from his twin and rolls over to cuddle Kaoru as he presses kisses to Kaoru's cheeks. “How do you feel?”

Still breathing heavily, Kaoru's eyes shine as he laughs. “Like I just had the best sex.”

They stare at each other and both start laughing, holding onto each other. This should feel terrifying, this should be something they're horrified at. But Hikaru's happy and he knows Kaoru is too and isn't that what's important? Not everybody can find who they're meant to be with, but they have had their person since birth. Hikaru thinks that's perfect, that Kaoru's perfect, and together they're going to be perfect until the end.

Perfection is hard to find, but Hikaru's just happy he found it.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written for these two in seven years and I feel like I'm home again.


End file.
